by Adam Amel Rogers, Originally posted on change.org
It was a focal point of the Sex and the City 2 trailer and it opened the movie in style: As Charlotte pointed out, her best gay friend (Anthony) and Carrie’s best gay friend (Stanford) were getting married. (Best gay friends are apparently still the hottest accessory this season).

What may seem like a minor plot point to establish the tone of the movie and bring all of the important straight characters together, is actually a big deal — a really big deal. In the battle for LGBT civil rights, there is one irrefutable fact — people are more likely to support equality after they have been exposed to LGBT people. Of course it works best when a personal connection is made via friend or family, but for those who don’t have LGBT people in their lives, the media they consume will help to form many of their opinions. Which means that the Sex and the City gay wedding instantly became a monumental opportunity to show millions of voters why gay and lesbian couples deserve the freedom to marry.

I am devastated to report that they failed miserably.

Now before you all string me up with a vintage Dior noose, please let me clarify that I consider myself a devoted Sex and the City fan boy, which makes this all the more disappointing.

*** The following is one big pile of spoiler alerts ***

Although I was fairly nervous after seeing the stereotype-laden movie trailer, I still went into the movie with a very open mind. I ended up not minding the endless sea of gay wedding jokes and the “could this wedding be any more gay” statements. I ended up liking that Liza Minnelli officiated the wedding and that the gay men’s chorus sang. These are aspects of our culture that should be celebrated.  As someone who walked down the aisle to a song from RENT and had a Broadway-themed reception, I don’t think I am in any position to comment on how stereotypical another wedding is.

A few minutes into the storyline, I was feeling pretty good about how they were handling everything and then it crashed into me like a freight train — when Anthony is asked why he didn’t plan the wedding (he is a highly sought after wedding planner), he replies that they made a deal: Stanford gets the wedding of his dreams and Anthony gets to “cheat.”

I thought, surely he is kidding. He wasn’t. Surely it is a misunderstanding and he will clarify. He didn’t. They try to lessen the shock with him making a joke that he isn’t going to cheat because he is gay, he is going to cheat because he is Italian. The joke doesn’t ease the shock. Carrie goes to Stanford to ask him about it and he confirms the deal’s accuracy, but he justifies it by saying that Anthony is only allowed to cheat in the 45 states where they aren’t legally married. Not funny.

I was heartbroken — I looked across the Orange County movie theater I was in and I looked at the sea of people who will probably be asked at least one more time to vote on whether or not gay and lesbian couples should have the right to marry. They were just delivered a message that said one groom was so consumed with desire to throw an extravagant party that he didn’t mind that the other groom couldn’t wait to get the ceremony over with so he could go hook up with someone else. Suddenly the voice of every anti-gay activist was inside my head screaming “sanctity of marriage.”

I get it. I understand how the cheating deal was meant to help inform the larger movie theme of taking tradition, putting your own stamp on it and making your own rules. In true SATC style, everything is woven together nicely, but I think they could have achieved story cohesion without perpetuating stereotypes of gay promiscuity.

A significant part of my frustration is rooted in the fact that the two creative minds behind this movie are people I deeply respect and admire. Openly gay writer/director Michael Patrick King and super gay ally Sarah Jessica Parker both have gay IQs that are off the charts, so I have absolutely no idea what they were thinking here. Let me be clear that I am not questioning the commitment to equality for anyone in the SATC family, as the cast is fervent in their support in this Towleroad interview. I am simply saddened by the direction of the highly touted wedding.

To be fair, there are other aspects that were handled beautifully. Anthony gives a very nice speech, Stanford’s parents walk him down the aisle and his father refers to Anthony as his son’s husband. Other elements of the story are also very gay and very well done, but I can’t help but be left with the icky feeling that the most visible same-sex wedding ever left audiences thinking about Anthony’s desire to cheat instead of Anthony’s desire to love his husband.

Photo credit: IKEA Boy

by Adam Amel Rogers, Originally posted on change.org
Two of the hottest shows on television now feature gay parent storylines. While we will have to wait until next season to see Cam and Mitchell grow as parents (and hopefully show some affection for one another along the way) on Modern Family, and we impatiently wait to meet Rachel’s dads on GLEE, a real gay parent story is coming to CNN next month. A one-hour documentary titled Gary and Tony Have A Baby will follow a married couple throughout the entire surrogacy process.

CNN’s Soledad O’Brien follows her successful Black in America and Latino in America series’ by telling the story of Gary and Tony, who after 20 years together and a legal marriage in Canada, have decided to grow their family. The special will air on CNN this June, but I had the opportunity to speak with Soledad to find out more about the new documentary:

Adam: What did you learn from Gary & Tony’s story?


Soledad: You know, for me, it is a really interesting way to examine couples. As a person who has knocked out quite a few babies herself, I wanted to examine what is the definition of family. So over this hour, you learn a lot about Gary and Tony, a lot about their relationship and really a lot about what their dreams and desires are. Really it’s a story about two people who want to have a baby.

Adam: The trailer starts out by identifying the topic as one of the most controversial issues of our time. Why do you think the idea of two men raising a baby is controversial?


Soledad: Well I’ll start out by saying I don’t. I don’t write the promos, but I think what they were referring to is the fact that in the past year and in the next several years, the idea of gay marriage has been very controversial. And controversial meaning that there are ardent opinions on either side of the issue where people firmly believe that they are right. So I think that this is an issue that people feel very strongly about, but again that is promo copy, that is not my documentary.

Adam: Mike Huckabee recently condemned gay parents by saying “children are not puppies.” Do you think there is anything in the special that will help build understanding among vocal opponents of gay parents, or do you think it will provide them with more ammunition?

Soledad: That’s never my goal. My goal, when I do documentaries is to drill down and tell the story of human beings. I guess anybody is welcome to take from it what they want to take from it. In a lot of ways, children are easier than puppies. Children grow, children respond to you, children you can shape and create and mold them and that is what is fabulous about being a mother from my perspective — I have four little kids — is that they are going to grow up and turn into adults and I get to shape the things that I want my kids to care about. Puppies — they just become big dogs. I think that it’s not for me to say what someone is going to get out of the work that I’ve done. It’s not a story about an issue, it’s a story about two people and this is their life and this is their story. It's not the story of the gay community, it is not even the story of gay marriage, it is the story of a guy named Gary and a guy named Tony and they have decided to have a baby. And all the effort, the drama, the emotion, the panic, the fear, the hard work, the medical bills, the legal efforts that go into making that happen for two guys.

Adam: How do you think they will do as parents?

Soledad: What’s funny is that they are the fun parents. I have seen them with small children and they are standing on their head and doing gymnastics, while I just want to sit in this chair for a minute. Gary and Tony, I think from watching them, are going to be great parents because being a great parent is about being a loving human being.

Adam: Gary & Tony appear to be two white men. Based on your experiences with Black in America and Latino in America, how do you think this special would have differed if it focused on gay men of color?

Soledad: I pick my stories by characters. Gary and Tony are willing to have cameras follow them around, they are good talkers, they aren’t shy, and they are interesting individuals. I don’t cast documentaries by saying I need a guy who is black, 6’2” and blah, blah, blah. I never really think of my stories from that perspective, but I often get asked questions from that perspective. I think that good story telling and whether a story resonates or not is a matter of whether or not it is a truthful story. Is it a story that is authentic, is it really about two individuals or is there some agenda? In the run up to the documentary we will do stories on couples who are not white, we will do stories about two women. So I never cast people in terms of color. If a story is well told, it can be about anybody.

Adam: There have been many rumors and many calls for a Gay in America special. Is there still hope for an in-depth CNN documentary about the LGBT community?

Soledad: I probably started that rumor, because we have really considered doing that. In a way I think of this documentary as one piece of that. One of the challenges I find in doing a Gay in Americaor a Women in America or a Black in America is that it is just impossible to tell stories of 51 million people, in Latino in America for example. It’s just impossible, so you end up telling a handful of stories and one of the criticisms which I actually agree with is “well, you didn’t get my story.” So what I decided to do is to tell stories about individuals. This is a great story — they aren’t every gay couple in America and they aren’t every gay person in America. They’re not meant to be. I guarantee that if I did a survey on gay in America, you would be the one calling me up saying “well, how come it didn’t have this and why did you pick that?” I think it is a valid question. My own mother after the first Black in America said “No Caribbeans? Where are my people?” She is right, but you can’t tell stories well that way. There is no conspiracy going on, this is the start of Gay in America. The marketing people may tell you something else, but to me this is the start of Gay in America.

Adam: Was there anything surprising to you about Gary and Tony’s story?

Soledad: All of the things that were surprising to me had nothing to do with the fact that Gary and Tony are gay. I have never used a surrogate for any of my four kids and I had no idea the cost. Ultimately when you are telling stories about human beings what I have found consistently is that we are quite similar. We all operate very similarly. We are all selfish and scared and generous and sharing and kind and happy and sad. What is not surprising to me is that they are like every other expectant dad I have ever met. The one thing that is a shocker is the cost and the legal maneuvering that has to be done for Gary and Tony to have a baby.

Photo credit: CNN

by Adam Amel Rogers, Originally posted on change.org
When I was a child learning about the Holocaust for the first time, I recall thinking “How could this happen? How could the world stand by and let a group of people be targeted by evil?”  I was reminded of these questions while watching the new Current TV documentary Missionaries of Hate.

The film, which premieres tonight, heroically dives into the story surrounding Uganda’s so-called “kill the gays” bill. In allowing Ugandan leaders and citizens to articulate in their own words why they feel it is important to imprison and in some cases kill gay and lesbian people, the film crystallizes how truly dangerous and terrifying this situation is.

The Anti-Homosexuality Bill of 2009 has received a fair amount of American media coverage and it has warranted condemnation from Secretary of State Hillary Clinton as well as President Barack Obama, but for the most part it has fallen off of radar screen for many Americans. This documentary will hopefully serve as catalyst for initiating a significantly larger global fight against this despicable legislation.

Missionaries of Hate introduces audiences to three brave openly gay Ugandans and as they tell their stories, one cannot help but feel a kinship with them. We are connected by a common same-sex attraction though we remain separated by differing levels of safety because of said attraction. The more you get to know the LGBT subjects in the film, the more enraging it becomes to know that if this bill passes, they will instantly be dragged off to prison simply for being gay.

The film makes it much easier to understand why the general Ugandan public is so eager to send their peers to jail. If the most prominent spiritual leader in your community made it his life purpose to convince you that there were people coming to eat your poop and recruit your children, you would be against them too. They are only hearing one side of the story and it is the origin of their information that is truly infuriating.

Although Ugandan leaders are deeply offended by the notion, the facts definitively show that American evangelists have played a central role in defining the nation’s hard line against sexual minorities. The documentary focuses on American evangelist Dr. Scott Lively, who is widely credited with installing the dominant notion that homosexuals are after your children. When asked if he condemns the legislation, Lively says that he condemns the death penalty aspects of the bill, but that overall the bill is a “lesser of two evils” compared to the prospect of having American gay activists do to Uganda what they have done to America.

It is always fascinating to see where people draw the line. Lively is against killing someone because they are gay, but he is perfectly fine with sending a gay person to jail for the rest of their life? That makes as much sense as someone who is OK with a gay person doing their hair or making them laugh on TV, but doesn’t think they should be able to marry the person they love.

Missionaries of Hate is the documentary we have been needing and craving. It illustrates what we are up against in Uganda and it shows that the need for outrage and action is immediate. It premieres tonight on Current TV or you can watch it on Hulu right now.

Photo credit: Russell Higgs

by Adam Amel Rogers, Originally posted on change.org
He is a petite man with a big camera and an even bigger vision. Celebrity photographer Adam Bouska has harnessed the pain of California’s Proposition 8 to create a brilliant avenue for equality advocates to showcase their support for marriage equality.

The NO H8 Campaign started after 6,068,393 Californians ripped the freedom to marry from gay and lesbian couples by voting for Proposition 8. Bouska and his partner Jeff Parshley created an outlet for people to display how their rights have been silenced by the proposition. Its simplicity is stunning — photos featuring people posing with white T-shirts, duct taped mouths and the “NO H8” message combine to form a powerful statement.

It immediately reminded me of seeing Christina Aguilera in concert many years ago. She put on a big fancy production with outrageous sets and glittery outfits, but when it came time to close with “Beautiful,” they cleared the stage of everything and Christina donned just a white t-shirt and jeans as she sang acappela. The song didn’t need any glitz and glamour because the substance was so important and it speaks for itself — just like the NO H8 campaign.

Last month, the NO H8 Campaign held it’s first open photo shoot in Los Angeles and my husband and I jumped at the chance to be a part of it. I soon realized that the power of the campaign was much stronger than I had originally anticipated when our best friends, a straight married couple named Kurt and Carlen, eagerly accepted the invitation to go. I was deeply moved that they would be willing to give up an entire Sunday to wait in line for hours and pay a lot of money to show their support for marriage equality.

They were definitely not the only straight allies there, which is one of the most beautiful aspects of the campaign — it transcends demographics much better than most outreach efforts ever could. The photo shoot was held in a church (how cool is that?) and the crowd in the line was a diverse cross-section of Southern California. Young, old, gay, straight, trans, drag, couples, individuals and families were all there to officially lend their face to the movement for equality so they could show the people in their lives exactly where they stand.

The ability of the campaign to reach unlikely allies has not gone unnoticed. Most famously, while Republican John McCain continues his journey to the fringe right, the campaign scored NO H8 photos of Cindy and Meghan McCain. Meghan liked the experience so much that she booked Bouska to shoot her book cover as well. Throughout the numerous years that Cindy McCain has been in the public eye, she has never proclaimed her support for marriage equality, but the NO H8 Campaign was able to serve as a comfortable outlet for her to display her support.

Overall, the NO H8 photo shoot was a highlight in my advocacy experience. I am thrilled to have a beautiful keepsake to document that we are on the correct side of history. The campaign will hold another open photo shoot at Long Beach Pride on May 15 and if you are in Southern California, I highly recommend going and bringing some straight allies with you.

Photo credit: Adam Amel Rogers

by Adam Amel Rogers, Originally posted on change.org
I cannot imagine what Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan is feeling right now.  The jubilation of being nominated for the pinnacle of her profession is no doubt equaled by the overwhelming awfulness of being thrust into a situation where every single thing you have ever said, done or thought is now fair game for every politician, journalist and advocacy group in the country.

In the following weeks, we are going to hear some potentially icky things said about the kind of people Kagan is or is not attracted to. It already started moments after Kagan was announced as the official nominee with anti-gay activists like Matt Barber updating his Facebook status update with: “Elena Kagan Should answer questions about her sexual preferences and lifestyle. It's relevant to judicial philosophy. Character matters.”

Peter LaBarbera from the so-called Americans for Truth About Homosexuality echoed these sentiments by proclaiming that, “If Kagan is practicing immoral sexual behavior, it reflects on her character as a judicial nominee and her personal bias as potentially one of the most important public officials in America.”

The American Family Association has already decided that she is a lesbian because she hasn’t denied it yet. They say, “If you were falsely accused of engaging in sexually aberrant behavior, would you waste a single minute challenging such a scurrilous rumor?”

The desire for Kagan to comment on her orientation has not been exclusively from the anti-gay right. I, and many other LGBT advocates, have definitely found ourselves longing for Kagan to make an announcement, because in the world of identity politics I guess the thought of an openly lesbian Supreme Court justice sounds so enticing that we have ignored the fact that it really is absolutely none of our business. And it sure as hell is not the business of any anti-gay force that will use it to block her nomination.

Even though the White House already issued a stern (and bizarre) statement weeks ago that she is straight, when Kagan faces questions for the first time it seems like a mathematical certainty that she will be directly asked if she is a lesbian. Though I find it disheartening that she will have to face a question like this that truly does not have anything to do with the job she is being nominated for, I am admittedly eager to hear her response. Whether it is something to the effect of “Yes I am… next question,” “No I am not… next question,” or if she takes the road that C.J. Cregg from the West Wing took by saying “it is none of your business,” I hope it puts the issue to rest, so we can get back to worrying if she is progressive enough to step into the shoes of Justice John Paul Stevens.

Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons

by Adam Amel Rogers, Originally posted on change.org
My husband is obsessed with The Twilight Saga. I usually tell people this without qualifying that I am not too far behind, but it is true — I am also completely enamored with the series.

There isn’t any overt gay content in Twilight. And though I’m sure a connection could be made between society not accepting human-vampire love being similar to the challenges faced by same-sex couples or another connection between werewolves and LGBT people both feeling that they were born different, I still don’t know how much of a gay sensibility the series has.

Sure, there is eye-candy, if you either like the pensive twink qualities of Edward or the exotic gym-bunny aspects of Jacob. Plus I’m sure some lesbians are into the mysterious angst of Bella. Overall though, I can’t tell if my affinity for the vampire love story is rooted in being gay or not.

Regardless, the series just signed up to become a lot more gay. Bill Condon, one of the most talented openly gay purveyors of entertainment, will be directingBreaking Dawn, the fourth movie in The Twilight Saga.

Condon is the Oscar winner behind Chicago, Kinsey and Dreamgirls and he also directed this year’s Academy Awards ceremony that featured the amazing performance by Neil Patrick Harris. Condon beat out another openly gay super-director, Gus Van Sant, for the important job of closing out The Twilight Saga.

So what does this mean for the series? While I would personally love it if Condon orchestrated a huge musical number between the vampires and the werewolves, he has already assured the Twi-nation that there will not be any musical numbers and that he will stay true to the story.

It remains unclear how Twilight author Stephenie Meyer would react if Condon did throw in a gay character into the mix. Meyer has worked very hard to not let her personal political views be known, because there is already so much chatter about how her Mormon faith has impacted the series. Meyer’s required tithing to the Church caused The Advocate to smartly question how much Twilightmoney went directly to the passing of Proposition 8.

Perhaps the surface-oriented divergence between Meyer and Condon is a bridge to be explored? Breaking Dawn will be the result of collaboration between one of the most famous devout Mormons in the world and one of the most famous devout gay men in the world. Stay tuned to see how it works out.

Photo credit: Krik@

by Adam Amel Rogers, Originally posted on change.org
Be prepared. This October, CNN could be following up it’s successful “Black in America” and “Latino in America” series with an in-depth look at “Conservatives in America.”  Most details are under wraps as of now, but what we do know is that at least one of the main subjects of the series is building a career on his anti-gay street cred.

Ryan Sorba first registered on the gross meter in February by using the stage at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) for an uncomfortable anti-gay tirade. Sorba claims, via his Facebook page, that CNN is following his “conservative activism” for the next six months for a “1 hour documentary to be aired world wide in October.”

Of course my first response to this guy being featured on national television was not necessarily a positive one. He proudly professes views that link him with the most fringe opponents of equality. So on one hand it is disgusting that those views will get this type of exposure, but on the other hand, from everything we know about Sorba, he is incapable of being likeable and therefore, there isn’t enough creative editing in the world to make him look like a respectable human being.

I hope rumors of the documentary are true and I hope CNN just lets the camera roll on Sorba because it will inevitably change some hearts and minds on LGBT equality. Sorba isn’t exactly what the media world calls a disciplined spokesman. It doesn’t take much to coax him into a full on homo-hating rage as illustrated by the extremely entertaining exchange between Sorba and a young gay conservative at CPAC.

So what are some of the specific signs of crazy we can expect from the documentary? Well Sorba has been working on a book called “The Born Gay Hoax,” he is an advocate of so-called “ex-gay reparative therapy,” and he is an avowed super fan of Dr. Scott Lively, one of the American evangelicals credited with getting Uganda’s “kill the gays” bill up and running. Such a nice young man.

The Washington Post emailed Sorba to try and confirm the reality of the CNN documentary and this is what he responded with:

Let Tammy Bruce and/or Andrew Sullivan know that I am going to publicly challenge both to a debate soon! You don't think they would be afraid to debate do you? Lol.

Viva la conservative revolucion,

Sorba

First of all, Tammy Bruce, who is an influential conservative lesbian, and Andrew Sullivan, one of the most intelligent people in the LGBT movement, would absolutely destroy Sorba in a debate so lets all hope for a resounding acceptance of the debate, even though neither would probably stoop to Sorba’s level. Second, did he seriously write “LOL” to the Washington Post? Lastly, I don’t know if Sorba has heard of Arizona, but I’m not sure his conservative friends appreciate him writing about the conservative movement in Spanglish.

What do you think? Does giving airtime to the Ryan Sorba’s and Ann Coulter’s of the world help our cause by showing how crazy they are? Or does it stump the growth of the conversation and create more anti-gay behavior?

Photo credit: FLC