by Adam Amel Rogers, Originally posted on change.org
Oh he’s not gay, he’s just a creepy, homo-obsessed, founder of a hate group.

Peter LaBarbera (or Porno Pete as he is known on the streets) has achieved a certain level of fame in the LGBT community because in his unending desire to destroy the gays, he has exhibited an obsession with man-on-man sex. There is a long list of examples, but most of them involve him going “undercover” at leather bars or taking in the sexual freedom of the Folsom Street Fair.

Most of the time Porno Pete is treated as a crazy fringe provider of comic relief, but the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) is not laughing. They have officially listed LaBarbera’s Americans for Truth About Homosexuality (AFTAH) as a “hate group.”

This designation is an important step in putting the anti-gay industry out of business.  AFTAH may seem like a pathetic one-man operation, but the reality is that Peter has the respect of many hard-hitting anti-gay players and his boyfriend best friend is rising anti-gay star Matt Barber. Barber bridges the gap between the super crazy anti-gays and the socially acceptable anti-gays. He is Director of Cultural Affairs for the influential Liberty Counsel and he serves as Associate Dean for the Liberty University School of Law, but he is also a board member of AFTAH.

Barber has weighed in by calling the Southern Poverty Law Center bullies for going after Porno Pete instead of Focus on the Family or the Family Research Council. Well Mr. Barber, SPLC provides the “hate group” distinction to organizations that “have beliefs or practices that attack or malign an entire class of people, typically for their immutable characteristics.” So, one can only hope that any and every organization that takes the money of hard-working Christians and uses it to attack gay and lesbian families is classified as what they are –- a hate group.

Sound extreme? It’s really not. If the Family Research Council didn’t pump so much money and energy into anti-gay causes, perhaps the anti-gay hate crime rate would go down, and if American ex-gay ministries didn’t exist, then Uganda wouldn’t be deciding whether it is OK to imprison and kill their gay population.  The actions of these organizations breed hatred and intolerance and they should be held accountable.

Being designated as a hate group doesn’t seem to phase AFTAH. Matt Barber and others have contacted Porno Pete to offer him congratulations on the designation. Barber says it actually “confers an honor.” If they are “honored” to be in the company of the Ku Klux Klan and every Neo-Nazi and Holocaust Denial group in the country, then we most definitely have our work cut out for us.

Photo credit: Adam Amel Rogers

by Adam Amel Rogers, Originally posted on change.org

Nature vs. Nurture?

It is a question I have agonized over for years and I am no closer to a resolution. I have read books, asked scientists and I have even prayed for answers, but for the life of me, I just do not understand what has compelled a small percentage of the population to dedicate their lives to the denial of rights and liberties to the gay community.

I am not talking about the typical conservative anti-gay hater who follows the Republican talking points, and I am not talking about the religious people who can’t see past Leviticus. Instead, my unending confusion is caused by the super gay haters. These are the people who have built careers around their anti-gay hatred and they measure their life's success by how many privileges are denied to others. Are they born with this hatred? Is deep detestation of LGBT people a learned trait? Or are they filled with so much internalized homophobia that they suppress their own same-sex attraction by lashing out against others?

A new super gay hater has risen to prominence this past week at the Conservative Political Action (CPAC) conference. A young man named Ryan Sorba took the stage to condemn CPAC for allowing a gay conservative group called GOProud to participate in the conference. Sorba was surprisingly booed off the stage by the conservative brass after pontificating on the evils of homosexuality.

Further Googling reveals that this was not the cause du jour for Sorba. In fact, he has built his entire young career on the idea that homosexuality is unnatural and changeable. He has spent years researching and writing a book called “The Born Gay Hoax,” he advocates ex-gay therapy on college campuses and he has started an anti-gay Facebook group that celebrates the work of another super gay hater, Dr. Scott Lively, who is one of the American evangelicals credited with planting the seed for Uganda’s kill the gays bill.

After Sorba’s crazy anti-gay tirade, a young gay conservative named Alex Knepper, engaged Sorba in an epic battle of the future of the Republican party.  The exchange is a fascinating read that reveals how truly bizarre it is that Sorba cares so deeply about prohibiting gay rights.

It will be interesting to see where Sorba goes from here. My guess is that he will be adopted by the anti-gay industry as the bright new spokesperson. Perhaps that will be followed by a string of sex tapes like the anti-gay industry’s most recent bright young spokesperson, Carrie Prejean.

Photo credit: Media Matters for America

by Adam Amel Rogers, Originally posted on change.org
This is part 3 in a multi-part series detailing Adam’s experience at the Focus on the Family “Love Won Out” conference.  Catch up with part 1 and part 2.

I was one session deep into the ex-gay “Love Won Out” conference and I still had a very clear “us vs. them” mentality. Since age 12, I’ve had a contentious relationship with the anti-gay evangelical community. They hated who I am so much that they want to change me; therefore, I have nothing positive for them. This war became very cloudy with the testimony of Mike Haley.

Haley looked like he was out of central casting for a thirty-something gay white male. He started his “testimony” by welcoming all of the gay activists in the audience. He said, “I know you are here and as long as you are respectful, I am glad you are here.” In my paranoia, I was convinced that every pair of eyes in the room was on me. It definitely gave him the power in the situation because it was clear that he wasn’t going to say anything that he didn’t want us to hear.

I was also taken aback because he used the word “gay.”  Usually, the fastest way to find out if someone is an ally or a hater is by analyzing the use of “gay” vs. “homosexual.” “Gay” is a bad word in the evangelical community because it dignifies our identity. They prefer “homosexual” because it sounds like a disease.

Haley spoke speedily with purpose. He was attractive, charismatic, disarming and impossible to hate. He told his story about growing up as a model child, who felt different because of his “homoemotional needs.” He spoke to a counselor at age 16 who (rightly) told him that there was nothing wrong with him, so he went to a gay bar and he found his home. He was on a “gay treadmill” for 12 years and he talked about the pressure to stay thin because of how he was only valued for what he looked like. He volunteered at HIV/AIDS organizations, he went to PRIDE, and he more than established his credibility as he built a connection with every gay person in the audience. He was already more valuable of a spokesman for their cause than James Dobson or Tony Perkins could ever be.

He told the Christians in the audience how hurtful it was to see Bible verses on signs at PRIDE, saying, “you think we will read those signs and change, but instead it pushes us further away.” He told the audience to eliminate “love the sinner, hate the sin” from their vocabulary. He got it. He was saying things that I feel everyday. Then he started talking about choice and I was ready to finally disagree with him. Instead, he said “no one chooses to be gay.” I was dumbfounded. He added, it may not be in people’s biology, but that is irrelevant, because it is not a conscious decision that people make.”

I realized that he was making me far too comfortable and that the emotional journey of his testimony was the key to their conversion philosophy. He gained the trust of the gay-identified audience members by meeting us where we are and speaking in terms that are comforting and disarming. Then once that trust was established, he zeroed in on the “change is possible” message.

He started in on how being gay isn’t God’s plan for people and he compared homosexuality to alcoholism and drug abuse (more on that will come in part 4). He began to detail his journey to leave homosexuality and how God rescued him. I was finally reminded that we are diametrically opposed, but I looked around and the damage had already been done; the room was full of tears. I was surprised that his story did actually move me. He was unhappy and he found something that he claims makes him happy. I couldn’t think of a reason not to be happy for him. I wonder if he would be happy for me, if I testified about how happy my husband makes me?

I don’t know if he is still attracted to men or if he is genuinely attracted to his wife. It honestly doesn’t matter to me –- what matters is that he now dedicates his life to telling people that the way they live is wrong and the way that he lives is right. I am not OK with that. Also, I was disappointed that he didn't address the actual process of "becoming straight." Perhaps this was just the initial sales meeting to rope people in, and they will burden them with the gory details later?

Next was the testimony of “ex-gay” Melissa Fryrear, another phenomenal presenter who oozed charisma and likeability.  Fryrear described herself as a “super lesbian” who abhorred the thought of physicality with a man. She told her story of feeling called to God, so she and her partner of seven years began going to church. Fryrear said even though it wasn’t her partner’s thing, she supported her and even bought Fryrear her first Bible. The story almost immediately jumped into her realizing that everything in her life was wrong as she “left homosexuality.” Everyone in the audience was too busy admiring her to notice how completely messed up it was to abandon her very supportive and loving partner, a la Lisa Miller.

In fact, love was completely absent from their message. They didn’t once acknowledge the possibility that two members of the same-sex could be in love. They applauded Fryrear for leaving the person who she spent seven years of her life with and probably would be married to, if she’d been legally able to.

I had found my moral high ground in the spirit of love. It became my new happy place -– for the rest of the day whenever I was traumatized by the brainwashing group-think environment, I would close my eyes and think of the love I have for my man –- a love that is stronger than anything I would endure that day.

Just two-hours into the conference and I was suddenly empowered and ready for more –- but I didn't know how long that empowerment would last.

This is part 3 in a multi-part series detailing Adam’s experience at the Focus on the Family “Love Won Out” conference. Stay tuned for Part 4 coming soon. In the meantime, check out part 1 andpart 2.

Photo credit: Ihar

by Adam Amel Rogers, Originally posted on change.org
The so-called “ex-gay” movement is often seen as a fringe, extreme punchline by the gay community. Unfortunately, the out & proud gays are not their target demographic. Like it or not, the fact is that ex-gay ministries are a force to be reckoned with. They are masters in the arts of persuasion and brainwashing.  They are smart, politically savvy, and they have a stranglehold on the evangelical voting bloc. I came to these realizations after infiltrating the definitive ex-gay conference: "Love Won Out."

I’ve had very strong feelings against ex-gay evangelism for a long time, but a few years ago, I decided it was unfair to fervently condemn something I had never actually experienced. I picked up the phone and dialed the number for Focus on the Family.  If I was going to do this, I knew I needed to play the part, blend in and really immerse myself in the experience. I told the woman on the phone that I was struggling with homosexuality and that I wanted to register for Love Won Out. She responded by asking if it would be alright for her to pray for me. Caught off guard, I curiously replied, “uh… ok?”

In the three minutes that she spoke to God about me, something did truly change within me … no, I wasn’t suddenly attracted to women, but my thoughts were changed about this woman. She devoutly thought she was doing God’s work and that helping to pull me away from homosexuality was the most righteous task she could perform.  She was a product of everything she has ever heard on the subject. I wanted to end the charade and invite her over for dinner so she could meet my husband and see that our lives are not deviant, our souls are not in danger and that our ability to exist as a happy couple is nothing to be afraid of.

A few weeks later, I woke up early on a Saturday morning and drove a couple of hours into another galaxy. I tend to surround myself with people who don’t dedicate significant amounts of time and energy fixating on my hell-worthy trespasses, so it’s an understatement to say I was out of my comfort zone walking into a Megachurch to spend the day being told that everything I know to be true, is actually false.

As I parked, I looked across the street at the gay rights advocates who had gathered to protest the conference. It felt so painful to be on the other side, I wanted so much to cross the road and join them.

I entered and approached the registration table. The volunteers all looked like stand-ins for The Real Housewives of Orange County, which oddly put me at ease. They guided me into the monstrous Church and I sat down with the reportedly 1200 other registrants.

I gazed around me to decipher what brought everyone there. It seemed as though most were just curious members of the Church, but there were also a lot of parents who were trying to de-gay their teenagers and there were definitely many people there actively trying to eliminate same-sex attraction. I felt as though we failed these people.  I wanted to run over and shake them and tell them to be happy with the way that God made them.

The first speaker walked up to the stage and I took a deep breath. My day in the heart of enemy territory was just beginning.

This is Part 1 in a three-part series detailing Adam’s experiences at the Focus on the Family “Love Won Out” conference. Stay tuned for Part 2 coming soon.

Photo credit: Daniel Green